A poem from the depth of my personal debris

My mama always said
To grow up
But I guess I grew down
Never listened
Never really cared
Now I’m at a crossroads
But I never even dared

To just close my eyes
And to take a deep breath
I’m not a person who dwells in the past
But sometimes I wonder
Why I always come last

Maybe it’s just in my genes
But I never saw my dad down on his knees
Never saw him grovel at anyone’s feet
Even when he’s hurting
Never makes a peep

This roller coaster ride has been fun
But now it’s late
And I’m tired
Every responsibility I ever dodged
Has now come alive in the form of monsters
I don’t believe in happy endings
But if there is one,
I’d really like to have it

Maybe it’s just in my genes
But my mom doesn’t forgive easy
She isn’t very needy
And the fire behind her eyes,
Never really died