How he lives

Hi! So I’m back apparently and I’m not doing so well. I’ve been struggling to focus and commit recently. Like literally, I haven’t been able to focus on anything. And commitment is just a foreign word for me. I’ve always been a runner. Running away at the mention of the slightest inconvenience. But there’s a little more to that story than just that. It’s not so simple. It’s not so black and white.

You see, my problem started the very day I was born. The stars did align, but just not the way I would’ve liked them to. In layman’s terms, I was born with shitty luck. But I’m not here to complain about that. Or maybe I am. I don’t know, I’ll decide if I want to ramble or not while I’m writing this post.

I fell in love a few months back. He’s from the States and he’s a perfect gentleman. We met on a dating website and quickly became very close. Too close, if I’m being honest. But it never felt too close for comfort with him. It still doesn’t. We’re still figuring out things about one another that didn’t fit in the not-so-adequate description box of the dating app.

He’s an artist, a visionary, a lovable nerd. But hey! Only I’m allowed to call him that. We both love to write. We both want to write a book someday. We maybe from different worlds, but we’re from the same universe if that makes any sense. So luck has played a significant role in all facets of my life. But drowning in love is something which is not concrete. Cupid cannot be stopped by the tactile nature of luck.

We write poetry together when we’re both high on medication. We talk for hours. We argue sometimes and sometimes it ends up with both of us feeling extremely guilty for hurting the other one with our words. But that’s the thing about love, it’s not about two perfect people coming together and living in perfect harmony. It’s not even about two imperfect people coming together and living in perfect disharmony. I feel like it has something to do with living in the grey zone. The area where black and white mesh together and create a little comfortable nest of grey. You’ll know when you’ve created your grey nest. It’s something everyone who’s ever loved understands.

Okay, so I’ll take my leave now. Be nice and safe, dear readers. Take it easy

With love,

Pradipta 💖